When we respond automatically, our relationships tend to suffer. Mindfulness allows us to slow down, explore what lies at the heart of our automatic response, and choose a new response. Often, we learn that anger is really a protest that we don’t feel close (tragically, the anger pushes our partner away). Isolation is often an effort to avoid fear of conflict or abandonment (tragically, isolation produces those very results). When we learn to choose a different response, like vulnerably expressing our desire for closeness or our fear of abandonment, we begin to see a different result.

Relationships are where we go for physical affection, touch, and intimacy. But we often can’t figure out what’s impeding this connection, or how to get past the blocks. That’s usually because you can’t think your way out of a problem that thinking got you into. Usually, the body holds the key to our true feelings, needs, desires, fears, longings, and past hurt. Getting in touch with the body becomes the doorway to meeting ourselves and our partners more fully.

Couples tend to get stuck when they see their partner as the problem, which can lead to contentious fighting or an avoidance of conflict. Things start to change when couples realize that life stressors, communication patterns, and/or past trauma are the true source of the conflict – which the couple can then face together, as a team.

We believe that our relationships and our partners are sacred teachers in the art of how to love more fully. Tremendous personal, relational, and spiritual growth are possible when we shift our mindset from “What’s wrong with you/us?” to “What are you here to teach me?” and “What are we learning together?”